Never Ever Dull
With every conversation, I always seem to end with "Never a dull moment"....our lives are rich, complex, and beautiful stories. Join me in laughing about everyday things and appreciating life-bumpy roads and all.
About four weeks ago, I got a text from my oldest. She's a recent college grad and had been working in the "real" world for about ten days. Hannah da Banana: Mom, remember when we prayed for a millionaire? [Confession: We jokingly end our conversations with "We just need a millionaire. Gotta remember to pray for one." I know meeting and marrying a millionaire doesn't solve all the world's problems, but it sure would be nice.] Me: Yep. So have you found one? Hannah da Banana: Ummm...no. I found a billionaire.* Me: Seriously?!? Hannah da Banana: Yes. He is interested in talking to me about continuing my work in Haiti. My heart skipped a couple of beats. I knew where this was going. So that conversation trickled into deep discussions. My oldest has been to Haiti 3 times in 9 months. She's been working with Hands and Feet, a Christ-centered ministry to provide family-style residential care to the orphaned and abandoned and to partner with the community to bring sustainable economic solutions to stop poverty.( http://www.handsandfeetproject.org/) Hannah fell in love with the people in Haiti and everything this ministry is about. She truly saw how the Hands and Feet organization was meeting the needs of the children and easily fit into their vision of creating sustainable income-producing business concepts that would bring dignity and hope to the Haitians. Basically. loving on the orphans and helping the Haitians build business ideas that work. Now a billionaire says he wants to help Hannah follow her passions and return to this ministry. That all sounds so dreamy. Hannah seeing doors open (flying open!) and being able to pursue her dream job. But I struggled. I had let Hannah go once already. We were in TN and she chose NC State since they offered her an incredible financial package. It was a no brainer. But she was 9 (NINE) hours away. I thought I could handle it. Four years of freedom. There were some time constraints, boundaries. [ Just a bit of background: Hannah and I had never really been apart. I home schooled that little chick-a-dee all the way. Pre-K through high school. So she may not have liked wearing all those collared shirts and denim dresses to the ankles, but she did turn out well. Just kidding about the wardrobe. But she has turned out well. And I'm proud of her. (We laugh because her first school bus ride was while she was coaching Daniels Middle School track her sophomore year in college!---totally lived the life of the "home schooled child")] So why can't I just release her and let her follow her passions, use her God-given gifts of managing finances in Haiti and loving the least of these? Because she's MY daughter and my heart aches. I knew college would be a 4 year deal and it was 4 years ( give or take a semester?!).....But this is life and there is no framework to work with now-no parameters to say that she can leave and return in x amount of months. I have wondered this week how did other mothers feel when their kids left home to go to serve in other countries. Like Mother Teresa's mother. Redundant but you get where I'm going. How can a parent live through this heart wrenching time of letting your child leave home...for good? One of my dear friends listened as I poured this all out. Her response? "Amy, isn't that how you raised her to be?" I nodded but wanted to say, "I had NO idea it would hurt this much." So, if you see me welling up and blinking back tears, give me some time. I had prepared for the Terrible Twos and Those Teenage Years. I just wasn't anticipating the ache with this next step in being a parent. I will learn to let her go again and trust her to God...just need time to adjust and figure out what this will look like. Meanwhile, be careful what you pray for especially when you ask for a millionaire. **The billionaire is married. I know, I know...SO many of you were secretly hoping for him to be single. =)
2 Comments
Rebecca LaForest
2/28/2015 12:47:34 am
Thanks for sharing yoyr heart! Your writing makes me feel like we are sitting down together and talking. You are in our thoughts and prayers and are greatly missed!
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Lee Carpenter
2/28/2015 03:03:24 am
Todd and I have talked about how you dream of one day being a parent, watching your kids play sports, seeing them off to prom and eventually college. You even think about what being a grandparent might be like. But somehow you don't picture life with them leaving you to follow God's call on their life. It's what we know they are supposed to do. It's what we want and have prayed for them to do. It's just not what our parent heart is ready to accept for them to do. Right there with you friend!
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AuthorFun-loving mom to 4 kids and 1 big puppy. Fifth grade teacher of amazing little people who have never ending things to share with me. Love to discuss Jesus, diy projects, and life. Trying to keep it simple: Love Jesus, love people. Archives
December 2021
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