Never Ever Dull
With every conversation, I always seem to end with "Never a dull moment"....our lives are rich, complex, and beautiful stories. Join me in laughing about everyday things and appreciating life-bumpy roads and all.
About four weeks ago, I got a text from my oldest. She's a recent college grad and had been working in the "real" world for about ten days. Hannah da Banana: Mom, remember when we prayed for a millionaire? [Confession: We jokingly end our conversations with "We just need a millionaire. Gotta remember to pray for one." I know meeting and marrying a millionaire doesn't solve all the world's problems, but it sure would be nice.] Me: Yep. So have you found one? Hannah da Banana: Ummm...no. I found a billionaire.* Me: Seriously?!? Hannah da Banana: Yes. He is interested in talking to me about continuing my work in Haiti. My heart skipped a couple of beats. I knew where this was going. So that conversation trickled into deep discussions. My oldest has been to Haiti 3 times in 9 months. She's been working with Hands and Feet, a Christ-centered ministry to provide family-style residential care to the orphaned and abandoned and to partner with the community to bring sustainable economic solutions to stop poverty.( http://www.handsandfeetproject.org/) Hannah fell in love with the people in Haiti and everything this ministry is about. She truly saw how the Hands and Feet organization was meeting the needs of the children and easily fit into their vision of creating sustainable income-producing business concepts that would bring dignity and hope to the Haitians. Basically. loving on the orphans and helping the Haitians build business ideas that work. Now a billionaire says he wants to help Hannah follow her passions and return to this ministry. That all sounds so dreamy. Hannah seeing doors open (flying open!) and being able to pursue her dream job. But I struggled. I had let Hannah go once already. We were in TN and she chose NC State since they offered her an incredible financial package. It was a no brainer. But she was 9 (NINE) hours away. I thought I could handle it. Four years of freedom. There were some time constraints, boundaries. [ Just a bit of background: Hannah and I had never really been apart. I home schooled that little chick-a-dee all the way. Pre-K through high school. So she may not have liked wearing all those collared shirts and denim dresses to the ankles, but she did turn out well. Just kidding about the wardrobe. But she has turned out well. And I'm proud of her. (We laugh because her first school bus ride was while she was coaching Daniels Middle School track her sophomore year in college!---totally lived the life of the "home schooled child")] So why can't I just release her and let her follow her passions, use her God-given gifts of managing finances in Haiti and loving the least of these? Because she's MY daughter and my heart aches. I knew college would be a 4 year deal and it was 4 years ( give or take a semester?!).....But this is life and there is no framework to work with now-no parameters to say that she can leave and return in x amount of months. I have wondered this week how did other mothers feel when their kids left home to go to serve in other countries. Like Mother Teresa's mother. Redundant but you get where I'm going. How can a parent live through this heart wrenching time of letting your child leave home...for good? One of my dear friends listened as I poured this all out. Her response? "Amy, isn't that how you raised her to be?" I nodded but wanted to say, "I had NO idea it would hurt this much." So, if you see me welling up and blinking back tears, give me some time. I had prepared for the Terrible Twos and Those Teenage Years. I just wasn't anticipating the ache with this next step in being a parent. I will learn to let her go again and trust her to God...just need time to adjust and figure out what this will look like. Meanwhile, be careful what you pray for especially when you ask for a millionaire. **The billionaire is married. I know, I know...SO many of you were secretly hoping for him to be single. =)
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1. Try not to confuse your potential love on how many marriages, kids, jobs, etc. you have taken. Errr....was that wife #1 or wife #2 that you said was the devil? 2. Not a wise idea to text a photo of yourself...and say this is a recent pic. What?! It looks nothing like last year's Iron Man Competition photo that you posted on the site. You now have a gut that stretches so far out. Surprised you could manage a selfie. And why send me a pic in the first place? Weird. 3. Don't start off messaging a person you've never met with: "Hello, beautiful!! You are so lovely." And you are so desperate. Seriously?! You've never seen me except for some random pics I uploaded that had me smiling sweetly and not glaring at my kids. 4. Tell the truth. Don't say "Currently separated but will divorce if we have a spark" Oh, great.... 5. Try not to be like "GeorgeConstanza" who wrote me: "I really enjoyed reading your profile. You are amazing and I think we would really hit it off. But just as luck would have it, I met someone last night and we "clicked". If that doesn't work out, can you go ahead and send me your number so I can contact you?".....George Constanza. The name fits. 6. Don't say "divorced" if you're not. Saying: "I will be divorced give or take 30 days"....is just not honest. 7. Be sure your pics are clear. Those Polaroid shots from your high school summers are a bit yellowed. 8. Scratch those pics of your Chinese Crested pooch wearing clothes.* Not very manly. Too many pics of you and your kitties make me wonder....skip those too. 9. In your profile, don't talk that much about past relationships. You don't have to say over and over and over again how you want someone to listen to you. We get the message. 10. You want someone to walk along the beaches with you at sunset, to share a glass of wine in your hot tub, and travel to exotic places? But what if I have 4 kids, a 77 pound puppy, a full time job, and sport practices, tutoring, PTA meetings, etc. When's that going to happen? Keep it real. So there you go. Helpful tips that will hopefully guide you to success in the online dating world. * All of the above are true. Except for the Chinese Crested pooch...I'm not sure what breed was shown in the actual photo footage. And I'm thinking that it was a dog....it was just so covered up in its Valentine outfit and its hat covered a bit of its face. Simply a random update about Banks, my big bouncy puppy. Just this week, I texted daughter #2 the list of items Banks had consumed in the last 3 days:
1) numerous min-figure LEGO men (if you have a boy, you know how precious these mini-figures are-poor R2D2, may he rest in peace and in pieces...), 2)playing cards (boy #1 has been you tubing how to throw cards and Banks finds the ones that end up under the furniture), 3) my wooden letter "Y" (I had planned on being artsy with my purchased letters that spell "PLAY"....my blonde daughter saw the letters on my craft table and couldn't figure out why I purchased "LAPY"! The Y was chewed up and splintered into shreds when I found it 4) finally, the brand new stick of butter that was on the kitchen counter. I thanked the boys for clearing the counter. When they said they hadn't, we began to realize that only Banks would have eaten a whole brand new stick of butter. Banks totally snatched that rectangular block and consumed it with no evidence anywhere. Perplexing. But none of us wanted Banks as a bedmate that night. Many of you might think: "Isn't it time they crate that big bad boy?"....Actually, all these things occurred while we were in the house. Yep. One of his favorite things to do is get our attention. While we're in our worlds of completing school work, Banks walks by with the inner soles of a running shoe. If we're concentrating and not seeing his bad behavior, he runs through the room and looks back at us. Seriously, he's good at this. Maybe he'll grow out of this stage soon....Until then, if you walk in our house, place everything on the fridge (the only place he hasn't gotten to-yet.) Remember those school dances that you attended back in the day? In middle school, I remember taking a social dance class to learn the classics-cha-cha, fox trot, swing, shag (I'm from the south and lived near the beach). I picked them up easily since I'd spent years in ballet and toe classes with Mrs. Harris, one of the two big dance instructors in my small hometown. You only had two to choose from. So you would think I'd be comfortable on the dance floor, right? Not really. School dances can be...different.
There's something a bit intimidating about those school dances. In middle school, boys and girls look awkwardly at each other and stay separated like there's a plague. Then, you have the outliers, kids who feel that they don't fit in a group. I know. I attended my son's middle school dance and saw it first hand. (But my son and I did dance together as his friends cheered us on-love that he can handle a mom that likes to have fun!). In high school, you have the cliques and the emphasis of having the "right" dress. These days, you have to come up with a creative invite to ask the girl or guy to the big event. My son googled and came up with a great one. He bought some trendy athletic socks and placed them in a shoe box. Then he presented his hopeful date with: "I'm so glad you walked into my life. Will you run with me to homecoming?" Cute, huh? But there's a bit of pressure in trying to keep these invites original. This might include balloons, colorful markers on the car windows, flowers, etc. There's a lot to think about before, during, and after all these dance events. But last night's dance was different (in a good way) for me. I attended an elementary dance. First one ever. The PTA at my school is like a gigantic water fountain bubbling over with ideas. It looked drastically different from the upper school dances. All the kids wanted to be together: the "old" fifth graders mixing with the "young" kindergartners. Parents standing along the perimeter at the beginning...hesitating...and then jumping in to show the little ones the gestures for YMCA and the steps to the Cupid Shuffle. Fathers scooping up their daughters and treating them like princesses. Little girls wearing dresses and shoes bought especially for the big event with freshly painted sparkly toe nails. Boys forming congo lines weaving in and out of the masses of little ones. Hugs and high fives everywhere. No social-economic boundaries. No cliques. No awkwardness and outliers. No precedence for having the "perfect" look. I wish I could attend one of these every week. I wish every dance could be this way. Actually, I wish life could be this way....what a wonderful world it would be. Ever since I was little, I loved doing crafty things. I remember being excited to get one of those paint-by-numbers kits. I still can see the adorable brown and white spotted puppy that was positioned on the cover of the boxed kit, displaying the completed project. So cute! I couldn't wait to get started. But it was much harder than I expected. My paint brush didn't fit into the tiny spaces and my paint merged into places it wasn't intended to go. I got frustrated because my final picture looked nothing like the box cover.
For many years, I ran my life similar to a paint-by-numbers kit. Dabbing my brush only into certain spaces and being sure to keep my life in the correct and safe places. I desired to have the perfect picture in the end and I thought by being very careful, I would end up with a result that would be admired by all. But my life took a huge turn and the life lessons I learned shaped and molded my kids and me...forever! One significant scene from my life played out in Tennessee. My attorney encouraged me to have someone check our family computers. I resisted but finally gave in. I drove into a parking lot and stepped toward the black sports car with dark tinted windows. I was motioned to get inside. The man who had removed the insides of my computers greeted me. My eyes had to be as big as saucers as I took in his car. Loaded with guns and devices. He was a well known guy in the area and dealt with high profile cases. He had to be careful and cautious. He pulled out a huge thick binder and passed it over to my trembling hands. His words still echo in my brain: "48 hours of continuous printing"..."sick to my stomach"..."had to stop printing"..."alias names"..."over 3000 pictures"..."safely secured now in three states". He shifted uncomfortably and looked down. "I'm sorry. Really sorry." My paint-by-numbers life came to a devastating halt. My life was now a big mess. I remember processing through it all and jokingly shared: My life is a mess, but I'm a beautiful mess. I started out trying to keep life tidy in that paint-by-numbers deal but life could not be contained in those little spaces. It simply spilled over to other areas. I began to realize that my messy life was really beautiful. It is real, honest, sincere, and humble. My kids and I handle challenging situations with a whole different attitude. We look at people and don't judge, trying to understand their lives and be encouraging as we interact with others. Life can be so hard and messy, but life can be beautiful even in that mess. |
AuthorFun-loving mom to 4 kids and 1 big puppy. Fifth grade teacher of amazing little people who have never ending things to share with me. Love to discuss Jesus, diy projects, and life. Trying to keep it simple: Love Jesus, love people. Archives
December 2021
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