Never Ever Dull
With every conversation, I always seem to end with "Never a dull moment"....our lives are rich, complex, and beautiful stories. Join me in laughing about everyday things and appreciating life-bumpy roads and all.
The evening before any athletic meet or game, we load up on the carbs. Last Friday night was no exception. My Third child and I headed to Olive Garden for a "date" and more importantly, pasta for him. Sitting at the traffic light, we observed a very young and very pregnant white woman approaching cars. She had a cardboard sign that said something like "pregnant, homeless, need money". This was a major intersection so we watched her for several minutes. A SUV pulled into a parking lot adjacent to the traffic lanes and signaled her to come and get multiple bags of groceries. The lady donating the goods hugged the pregnant woman. Compassion was pouring out from everyone. Windows were lowered and bills handed over to the begging woman. My son and I debated whether to contribute. The signal light changed from red to green. We moved on. But that memory stuck. And then, I started thinking: Why did people give so generously to her? Why not the wrinkled weathered man who stands beneath the tree at another major intersection? What's the selection process that goes through our brains as to who has greater needs? Do some skip giving because the homeless need to find a job? What if it was a Mexican or another race out there with a cardboard sign? Would folks tend to pay more or less attention? I know I'm stepping on toes. It's just that awkward moment, trying to understand what is "right". Give them money...but what if they buy beer or wine? Buy groceries...but what if they shove them aside? Just ignore because those people need to use their time in a more effective way? Or simply don't make eye contact and play with your phone instead? I've seen different approaches-Grace Chapel, back in TN, coordinated nights with other local churches. On Wednesdays, Grace had "Room in the Inn". Not only did the homeless men get treated to one of the best meals you could dream up, but the cots were prepared with fresh neat linens and a gift placed on each pillow (scarves, mittens, candies, etc.). I've seen people pack their cars with bottles of water to distribute to the homeless. I've known people to buy boxes of popsicles to hand out on a hot, humid summer day. I even knew a man who brought home a homeless man just so he could have a shower and a meal. Because I have a heart filled with compassion, I've wanted to learn. I read Under the Overpass in which two guys decide to be "homeless" and travel the country, penning their experiences and relationships. Same Kind of Different as Me also offered a glimpse as to the life of a homeless person and a very special relationship that developed from serving at a shelter. Great books with great insights. I don't know the answer to the homeless situation that is seen in our cities. But I'm glad that it nags at me. If it didn't bother me, I'd feel heartless and that caring for others no longer is important to me. I never want to be the driver in a car that totally dismisses the person holding that cardboard sign because I have more important things to consider. These people matter. I hope this has made you think twice before locking those doors and looking the opposite direction? What, or who, do you see behind those cardboard signs?
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Ever had days, weeks, or months that you felt you were in a uphill battle? I get that and to be transparent, I'm in that season now. I wonder that if people examine me closely, the real me will be unveiled: weathered from the tough storms, blistered and calloused due to my heart having to become stronger and tougher, and visible scars that don't come close to showing the depths of pain endured along this crazy adventure called life. But I can't wallow in that and know the need to press on. Yet, what keeps driving me to move forward and chalk up the hard times as lessons learned? What do I cling to when life feels like it's crashing? Just like that rock climber pictured, I do need something to hold on to with all my might so that I can push myself and move upward no matter how steep the climb appears to be. For me, I have my "go-to" promises from God. I know many of my good friends may not share my same faith. I respect that. For me, though, I have a relationship with God and cling to His words. Here are my favorites: "So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will never fail you or abandon you." Deuteronomy 31:6 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted..." Psalm 34:18 "The eternal God is your refuge, and His everlasting arms are under you." Deuteronomy 33:27 So when my world seems to be rocked, I stand firmly on His rock, His foundation. Not easy because sometimes I want His actions to be tangible, real, right there. Kind of like "POOF!", He shows up and saves the day right in front of me. Yet, I cling to Him and know that His words will never fail. This morning, I'm off to take my son to another track meet. Some folks might shake their heads and wonder "Why?". "Why take up a Saturday for a sport? Shouldn't you just slow down and have some family time?" I get that. My kids definitely have had a full calendar filled with sports since they hit their teens. At times, I've felt like I wanted to wave a white flag and surrender all the activities for a more calming lifestyle. But we've been so blessed with the coaches that it's all been worth it. After moving to TN, we checked out a swim team for my girls. We didn't return after that initial visit because my life got turned upside-down. But that didn't stop Coach Dawn. Determined, Coach Dawn came to our house to convince us that the girls needed to be on that team. We signed on. I had no idea but my girls were really competitive. My Oldest who was in high school made it to State. But once again, my life flipped over a couple of times the week of the TN state championship. I couldn't take her to State. That didn't stop Coach Dawn. She filled in as a mom and got my girl to the championships. She took my place as a mom for a weekend that my Oldest will always treasure. When my Oldest returned to TN a couple of weeks ago for a short visit, she had lunch with her swim coach. That relationship outlasted those swimming years. Next up is Coach Snarey. We arrived in NC and within days, the neighborhood boys convinced my son to play middle school football. I wasn't ready for that but desired for my son to feel included. Reluctantly, I approved. During the course of that season, Coach Snarey invited my son to join him in extra workouts and conditioning. This continued into off season. Then into daily summer sessions. My son went into high school but that mentoring friendship continues today. This coach stays involved with him, investing countless hours to be sure my son stays on track on the field and off. Coach is more than just a football coach. He's part of our family. There have been many others. The DeFattas coached my Youngest when they had no children of their own. Coach DeFatta signed up to coach soccer for the purpose to pour into my Youngest's life. Coach Carter was a great role model for my Blonde because he pushed her to go beyond her limits physically and challenged her to keep her academics strong but balanced. Yep, I have to hop in the car again to tote my son to the meet. But I'm thankful for sports and even more for the coaches that God has brought into our lives. I continue to be amazed at the people He brings to us that so willingly share themselves with us. Very blessed. I love the scene in The Wizard of Oz that flips from black and white to full color, rich and vibrant (at least for a 1939 film)-a sharp contrast that initially surprises the viewer. For so many years, I lived in the black and white: I grew up with loving parents who were married to each other for fifty plus years. They raised four kids clearly defining what was right and wrong. I embraced their teachings seriously and lived them out. Recently, it hit me how much I've changed in how I view things. I was totally a person who saw black and white. Examples: You had to finish college, you had to get a good job, you had to have the right friends, you had to marry well...and then I got divorced. Divorce, in my eyes, was not in the "right" category. When faced with no other option, divorce had to happen for me. But it didn't fit neatly into my black-white world. Divorce was simply wrong. No matter that the highly recommended Christian counselors nudged me after two months of meeting with me (even handing me the name of an attorney to walk me through the process), I just had a hard time resigning to the fact that I would become one of those statistics (i.e. "Number of Christian couples that divorce"). I was stuck for a long time. My counselors stated I needed to learn "to live in the gray". So, I trained my brain to do just that. That shift took awhile and I'm actually thankful that I was nine hours away from family and friends to really own it myself. It was my journey to process and grasp that my world was now upside-down and very gray. I held onto my children, leaned on God, and worked through my-now-gray-world. Funny thing is that I don't see my world as black and white or gray anymore. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, my world transitioned from dull, lackluster colors to vibrant hues. I embrace life around me. I really concentrate on listening and understanding people and where they are coming from to grasp the full vivid picture. I get that lives can get tangled up in a huge web of confusion and conflict. But in all of that, great things can happen. I see things now more than ever through the lens of grace, humility, hope and love. That's made my life so much richer, bringing vibrancy to my world. Living in color brings challenges since it's so much easier to default to a black and white mode to check off how you perceive a person or situation. But It's worth making that concerted effort because I think life was meant to be lived in color. |
AuthorFun-loving mom to 4 kids and 1 big puppy. Fifth grade teacher of amazing little people who have never ending things to share with me. Love to discuss Jesus, diy projects, and life. Trying to keep it simple: Love Jesus, love people. Archives
December 2021
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